The Wharf, Driving Aimlessly, and Charlie Brown; Part Four of "San Fran: Oh Man!"

This was a pretty fantastic aquarium on Fisherman's Wharf, as you will see in the next couple of pictures. This was Thursday, June 25th. How this place was set up was, first, you go in; it's right there, on the ocean, you get your tickets, and the first room on the first level, are these sea urchins in a tank, and then a tank of stuff found in the ocean, kind of an introduction. The tank with stuff found in the ocean was disgusting. There was a frisbee, I think, a toddler's trike, an old television set from the 50's - just your normal ocean-junk of course all safe and incorporated in to coral by now, but it was just awful treating the ocean like a dump. I'm sure they've found weirder shit out there; that's just despicable.








Once you are out of the area with the sea urchins and that sort of thing, you take a brief trip outside, before entering an elevator with an elevator-attendant awaiting you and your party. Elevator-attendant is not exactly the right vernacular for these people; they were ecological something or other, but their main focus was operating an elevator...I didn't get that. Okay, I go work for the Smithsonian, but all I do is raise and lower you on the elevator, so my title obviously is, HEAD OF MUSEUM-EXHIBIT RESTORATION. I have no prior education in history or theatrics, I was brought aboard to work an elevator...I don't know, maybe she DOES have a degree in oceanography, but mainly studied the importance of keeping our oceans clean, which is how she got in to ecology, beats the hell out of me, but it just amazed me that she was stuck in an elevator most of the day, and not doing something important.

She took us down to the bottom level, and that's when you start entering the tubes. These were glass enclosed hallways where you walked under the ocean and sea-life drifted on the sides of you or above you, their choice. Obviously, the picture-quality is gonna be pretty bad. Not only did I have to worry about reflection and low-light, but reflection, low-lighting, and subjects constantly on the move. I played around with settings, and finally decided that it was okay if a few things blurred. Case in point:





But see, I like that picture because those fish are one fish, to them any way - they follow the flock, and to have it blurred was bordering expressionism. Having that glare on the glass, though, ruined the shot.

Don't ask me how big these "tubes" are, I suck at dimensions, but let me tell you this, it was quiet easy to pass people not going my speed. Problem was, we were on tour ahead of a classroom of Spanish-speaking students and a group of mentally challenged individuals. A lot of yelps, cries of joy and exuberance, and then Spanish-gibberish which I could barely make out, although a semester of Spanish my junior year of high school should have more than qualified me for translation.








This big guy just wants a friend.

Now comes the best part, a video. And it starts out with the face of a very displeased soul.






Did he get a ticket outside!? Did he lose his wife in a shark attack!? If so, why would he come to an aquarium, if not to get over his fear of the ocean, and his hatred for sharks? What a sour-puss, YOU'RE UNDER THE OCEAN!!! Any who, you see him for a second, and then my mom got in the way, and then the fish, so enjoy. Maybe that guy should've used Preparation H...you might have to scroll to the beginning of the video to see him.





These fish were passing my view every couple of minutes, so each time I tried to get a different perspective of them. This one worked out the best.





They had video of an octopus catching crabs in a glass vase. Why they didn't have an actual octopus instead of the video was beyond me. It would lure the crabs over to its tentacle, like a fishing line, dangling it there like, "You know you wanna..." For crabs, they were smart enough to know not to touch that octopus' tentacle. The crabs knew the opening to the vase was too small for a big animal, like this octopus, to squeeze through. What the crabs don't know, and will never know because of their tiny brains, is that the octopus is a cephalopod, which in lamest terms means he can fit anywhere he wishes to. Needless to say, those crabs were shit out of luck, and that octopus got 'em.





A perfect little mid-meal snack for an octopus. These guys glowed! They look like shrimps...





The place with the octopus video and the glowing shrimps was in an offshoot from the underwater tubes. The next set of tubes we entered had us greeted by this gentleman.





More "exotic" ocean-life.




We made it out of the aquarium in one piece. Upstairs from the bottom level was more of a land-aquatic life, with a wading pool of different coral uchins and fish, as well as multicolored star fish. In glassed exhibits, they had tree frogs, turtles, and a pink-toed tarantula. She had just killed her mate, as he hung lifeless in a hammock of webs in the corner of the display, most likely expired from their wedding night. That was chilling.

Our next stop on the wharf was for lunch. Where to go for lunch? Hard Rock Cafe, fancy shellfish diners...oh wait, there's a Bubba Gump's Shrimpin' Company!! Yes, a restaurant themed off of the 1994 classic Forrest Gump. There were flat screens all over that seafood place playing the movie 24/7; it looped. Amazing! I would have loved to have played some ping pong with my FLEX-O LITE ping pong paddle! I still think Jenny II should have been in harbour...





After the aquarium and Bubba Gump's where I had a steaming Bubba's Bucket of Boat Trash, with lobster claws, shrimp, and fried snapper, we went for a drive around San Francisco, and here's all the pictures I could take from the backseat of a moving vehicle.








Here's a bookstore, with flapping, flying books suspended up on electrical lines.











If only I were cool enough to get in to this Segway Education Class...headgear, a device that prevents you from ever having to walk again, and AND a caution, reflective smock...SIGN ME UP! I want in this gang, fo sho! They all look like a bunch of rabble-rousers.






This is not made-up. Best thift store in San Francisco.





The men in this picture were walking down the street while we were driving, and traffic was dense for this neighborhood, so we were going pretty slow, enough where these two were in view constantly. Once they got to this building, where we were stopped, waiting at a light, the red-shirt went up the fire escape, followed by his jacketed friend. They climbed to the top, pictured above, and notice the red-shirt is climbing on the wrong side of the ladder. Eventually he realized this, climbed back down to that top landing, then reversed sides, and then they went out of view do to our car moving again at the green. I don't have the slightest clue what they were up to.


China Beach was our next destination. What's China Beach you ask? Here, come read all about it!





The view from China Beach:







The fisherman.

There's two other beach-shots, but I'm tired of posting pictures now. It's okay if I don't have them all.

We jettisoned back to the condo for our last night at Winsor. I got me the grossest thing I think I eat. It's not gross to me; why in the hell would I eat it if it were? They are little fish that you eat from a can. They are sardines, and I enjoy them. Preferably in Louisiana Hot Sauce. I had to get me at least two cans of sardines while I was down in California because the brand I eat come from San Jose. These were the freshest of the fresh. And they weren't hard on the wallet, either. I say this like they are fucking expensive; in Kansas, they're like two bucks a can, here, they're fifty cents a can. Huh-huh? A dollar fifty saved!

We woke up the next morning, packed everything of value and said goodbye to luxury. Today, we traveled to Santa Rosa, CA for a museum. A whole museum devoted to the cartoon strip Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz. Here ya go!














This is of the lobby-area only. Photography wasn't allowed in the museum exhibit areas.











Even the bathrooms. It was great! The outside of the men's room, the figure on the door labeling it a men's room had a Charlie Brown shirt on. The little things...


Up Next: ALCATRAZ!! (Key thunderbolts and lightning)

Utter Disappointment, Utter Exuberence: Part Three of "San Fran: Oh Man!"

After Yosemite, we was tired! And I was sweaty, due to one extremely easy hiking trail and perhaps myself being a snowman. This was part of the trip where we really didn't have anything in the way of refreshments and snacks, so heading back to Angel's Camp, we found a Safeway-type store, stocked up on bottled water and Triscuits and crackers and chips, all kinds of goodies for energy. I don't believe in power bars or gels full of sugar and starch. They taste awful. A handful of chips or Triscuits in this case was enough of a snack, and we were up to our pubic-areas in bottled water; a whole 24-pack stuffed in a Styrofoam cooler with ice. Triscuits and water didn't really hit the spot, but at least I was hydrated and something lined my stomach.

I had also procured some beer. Visions of myself sitting out on our deck back at the condo with a ice cold beer in hand with my legs propped up on the railing in total relaxation ran rampant through my daydreams like sugar plums. Nobody in my family except for maybe my grandma, or, while we're on the subject, perhaps my brother too, know what its like to deal with the good and the bad of customers peddling through our lives in the way of a full-time job, so I NEEDED this vacation, I NEEDED relaxation. Sure, I could have done it without the beer, but if I wanted mediocre-relaxation than whatever, but the beer just further makes you appreciate the little things that make you happy. I was in a lawn chair with my feet propped up on the railing watching a beautiful desert sunset, cool, slick condensation from the beer more of a delight, eyes closed, melting in laziness.

Big Trees State Park was a huge waste of time. It's like Hutchinson's Sand Dunes. You drive around, you can stop at one or two places and really just walk the whole thing. That's awesome because you experience it outside the car. The only problem is at Big Trees, you might see 3-4 officially large-as-fuck red woods, and that's it. You crawl in them, snap a few pictures of you in a hollowed out red wood, then its back to the car. But you'd walk 6 miles in length because it was inevitably clear you were gonna get lost. One map at the beginning of the trails, and then nothing else to point you to your destination.

The smallest trail is like 3-miles in length, but if you get lost, which again is inevitable, it loops you around another 3-miles, to the end of the longest trail, which is 8 miles up, 8 miles back. Or you loop around and walk 6-miles in total up, then back 6-miles. Your choice: 16 miles all-around, or 12 miles all-around. Here's the beginning:




That path in the background goes uphill, in a circular motion and then leads you to a jagged, uphill path to the parking lot. You cross this bridge, look at a map for guidance, and then you're on your own.

Me walking behind my mom and PHIL!





Bees and lady bugs for some odd reason were always buzzing around your head.





This tree should have been knocked down out of mercy. It was dead. And now an immobile zombie of its formal, fruitful-self.




I walked 4 miles, got to a huge crossroads from the trail I was on, stood around catching my bearings, and all of a sudden, there's a swarm of mosquitoes around my head, and something larger than a mosquito conducting the madness, and I freaked out a bit, I'm not gonna lie, and tried to run from the bloodsuckers. What the hell was that big enormous thing? Was it a mosquito-God, summoned from above by the colony of mosquitoes and a mesmerizing flight-formation that opened a channel between our world and the mosquito-God's world? Now they sacrifice small animals to the mosquito-God in repentance, and have blood orgies in the blood collected by human trespassers, to further expand upon their society. One day they might attack, and the mosquito-God will most likely be the size of a house at this point, and wear battle-armor, with a cape, and who shall even dare to take out the mosquito-God, with his rapier-sized straw and his never satisfied hunger for blood!?

I fled the scene, heading back to the car. I didn't want to walk any further, 9 more miles to go before I reached the car, I thought, 6 miles is enough, I'm tired of nature-shit!

On my way back to the car, I heard voices and soon a family emerged on the trail. They were oriental. The daughter was perhaps 19-years-old, and I was diggin' that. She asked me how much further until they started seeing the redwoods. I guesstimated 4 more miles. They sighed, tired already. I told them it was well worth it, "That you could stand in them, and feel insignificant, imagining the lifespan of such a thing. As a seedling, these trees could have been in a area not yet discovered by civilization." There eyes grew large and mingled chatter commenced in a different language. She said, "Neat, that was very beautifully described." Then this backpacked guy in a brownish-grey shirt with a dew-rag tied around his head and one of those Eco-Friendly Klean Kanteens clipped to his satchel came up, and I just knew by his flowery, all-natural scent that he was a modern hippie; only using all-natural deodorant and soaps. He probably caught the infomercial about the Klean Kanteen and jizzed his pants. "That'll be the new fad: a canteen that stays colder, and uses the condensation from the bottle to save you 30% more drinking water. Too cool. I can never have enough things that saves our environment." I would have loved to litter right in front of him.

He caught the words, "beautifully described," and pounced into action. "I've got pictures on my phone of the trees. They were really cool." Then he shot me a look like, I didn't see you up there. I went the distance, you gave up. I'm on to you. You didn't see those trees. I was like, "Cool. They're big, right?" He continued to show pictures to the Asian family, but when I would try to get a glimpse of the pictures on his phone, as he showed them individually to every single member of that family, I was snubbed. And I didn't like it. He didn't show me even one of his pictures. And then, slowly, I was ignored from all forms of their conversation, so I just fucking left. Five minutes after leaving the Asian family and that faggot with his PRECIOUS Blackberry, I started to here a steady march behind me. He was catching up. The path is too narrow for both of us to walk together beside each other, basically to allow him passing room. So we both come up to a place in the path where I could linger, while he passes me because he's right behind me at this point. I stop and allow him passing room, and he stops with me, and we're standing together. I look at him, and finally, I say, "Go ahead. Pass me. I'm taking a breather." I wasn't winded, I was fed up with him. He doesn't go by. He stands there, and then, so it's not awkward, he unclips his gay thermos and takes a swig. Fuck this! I go ahead and start walking again. Sure enough, a minute or two later, he's back behind me, walking a step or two from my heel. Who does this shit!? At last, I stopped again, and told him to keep walking. He finally passes, I'm thinking, "Do I have reason to deck this mother fucker in the mouth!? I think this is good enough reason. He followed right behind me for a few paces and then obliged to pass, he persists to walk with me, further being annoying.

Back at the rented Kia Tucson, I stretched it out, did a cool-down like stretching-exercise I learned from Cody, a former co-worker of mine who did Yoga and drank hot tea. Then I relaxed on the ground with the rest of my water. My parents soon followed, and I got the vehicle unlocked by my dad. I grabbed another water from the cooler, as well as a beer. Opened the bottle on a log. It was fine indeed!

Owen, being Owen, took the longest trail humanly possible, one that he made up himself. He walked the short-trail with us up, 6 miles, then walked the 8 mile trail back, but not before snapping off like 20 pictures of 3 trees, some pictures with him standing in the trees smiling because again, they're hollowed out so you can stand within them, it was his time, and he got the most out of it. The fam and I sat in the SUV for 3 hrs while he explored, and we got in to the crackers and snacks again; I even mixed a powder packet of Hawaiian Punch into one of the water bottles and had that to drink.

We made a decision to just have hamburgers and hot dogs at the condo for supper. That, or was it sandwiches. Any ways, that was Wednesday.

Thursday rolled along, and we drove from Angel's Camp to Winsor which is in Sonoma County, Sonoma being wine country. But first, we went through San Francisco. Beautiful time to be down there. I think it was 63 that afternoon, so a light jacket was all I needed. Our destination was Pier 33 down on Fisherman's Warf, the offshoot to Alcatraz Island where we'd take a boat across the bay to land upon and explore the prison. Here's the pier:




"This be a fine day to sail, YARR!" screeched this bird who does, along with his friends, utter destruction upon the pier with their pooping.




Before coming out to California, we had heard Gov. Schwartzenegger wanted to close Alcatraz Island to the public to save money for the state. We only assumed he would do this because the prison was ran down and nobody was visiting the island as much as they used to. That's not the case at all. We got to the Pier and the ticket counter for Alcatraz and were told the seating on all the boats for that afternoon were sold out...until SUNDAY. This was Thursday. To close the prison off from tourism would be assenine! At $27 a pop, and being as busy as they were, the state is cleaning up on tourism. Why close it!? The gasoline for the boat is paid for plus the upkeep on the prison is more than covered by their numbers. But then again, they could spend that money some place else if they didn't have burden of the island, then again, no money coming from it. California is stuck in a rut due to this poor economy, and it shows in the infrastructure and their inner-city housing projects, some left to become dilapidated in the proceeding years.

We paid for our tickets for Sunday, and walked the sidewalk closest to the warf. Towards Pier 39, we spotted an Aquarium. But I snapped off a few pictures before we got there.



A dock, sort of an offshoot from Pier 39. It was shiner than what it appears in this picture. I set it for the Sunset preset because I wanted to show the cloud coverage ahead. Out in the ocean, it was foggy, a staple of San Francisco weather. Almost every day it was foggy, which made an interesting crossing over the Golden Gate bridge. The top of the bridge wasn't visible at all.



This statue represents squid's tentacles, as it is a reminder of the attack in 1906 that a giant squid made on the city, the real reason for the 1906 earthquake. I don't know why the built that thing. Probably a bunch of fucked-up art students designed and crafted it, high on crystal meth.




That tower-thingy in the background is dedicated to the firemen of the city. Or so it is thought, due to how much it resembles a fireman's hose nozzle, but actually a plaque rests at one of the viewpoints of this monument, which states:

This 210 foot monument was built in 1933 with monies bequeathed by Lillie Hitchcock Coit to beautify The City she loved. Frescoes were painted in the interior of the newly built structure by local artists funded through the United States Government's Public Works of Art Project.

So actually the structure was an art project perceived as something different. And who knows what the intent of the project was, whether they had a fireman's hose nozzle in mind.

We finally made it to Pier 39 where the Aquarium rested.



We'd see fish and coral and sea weed and sharks and sting rays and an octopus that could maneuver his way through thin glass tubes to get to his dinner in a bigger basin, and crabs and little lobster-like creatures, but from this view, I got a very nippy wind that chilled my bones, and it felt oh so good.

Back to the present day, July 14th, I sat in my car listening to the new Wilco on the iPod. On about tracks 4, 5, or 6, I thought if only I could be back in San Francisco with the 60-65 degree weather off the coast, or the Pacific Ocean water lapping at the beautiful sand beaches of Santa Cruz. I snapped back to reality, the 105 degree heat, and a guitar solo from Wilco, put the iPod on pause, stepped out of my car, and went back inside to work.

In my next installment, I'll start with pictures and video of the Aquarium, followed by pictures in and around the San Francisco-area. Then, a short drive south to Santa Rosa to the Charles M. Shulz museum, and if time and space allows it, maybe even pictures of ALCATRAZ. Most likely that won't happen...

Beds and Bears and Foresty Things at Yosemite: Part Two of "San Fran: Oh Man!"

Imagine being on vacation with my family, in a two-story condo; your brother took a bedroom, your parents got the other bedroom, and you are left with the bed that comes out from a closet - they have a name, these beds. I could open up Google, and refresh my memory, but I'm lazy. My bed folded down from a closet. People got tired of blowing up an air mattress, or the coroner got fed up with, "Could you come down to the Chateau? Yeah...another body in the fold-out....well, it's like a bear trap in that thing! He suffocated," and the inventors got together, hashing out what objects to put a bed in. One idea was to have it lift up from the floor, another idea was to stuff the air mattress in a cannon, and you pull the string and it shoots the mattress out, inflating it. The BBQ is spitting out comforters and pillows. Finally, they got it right with the couch. The couch made since. You're sitting on an empty frame with cushions, why not hide something in there? A ninja! And then naturally, we started hiding beds in closets. And the ninjas said fuck that hiding in couches-shit! Have you been to Japan, have you seen our hide-a-beds...no thank you! Just because we're nimble...if I'm gonna stalk someone and murder them in the shadows, at least give me some comfort!

I would like to hide a bed in everything. Boy, getting up and around in the morning is fucking hard! I keep wanting to go to sleep. I'm pouring milk all over the cupboard, its running over in my bowl of cereal because I fell asleep pouring again....Why not pull out the refrigerator, there's a bed! Open the dishwasher, and there's a pillow and a blanket. Brushing your teeth, with your head resting on the sink!? Open the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and a tiny four-posted bed falls from one of the shelves. You couldn't sleep in it, but the sheets of the tiny bed are soaked in chloroform...

Awoke to coffee brewing, 7:53 a.m June 23. Never have I ever slept in while on vacation. Had a lovely shower. Ate something for breakfast. On the road by 8:40. On our way to Yosemite National Park. I'm thinking of Teddy Roosevelt while taking these pictures.





Here's ol' Half-Dome *snicker-snicker*

The reason why we wake so early is to beat the traffic. Ever hear your parents utter those words, beat the traffic!? We plan our lives around this philosophy! Always beating some random crowd out of a spot, either at the last open table of a restaurant, or before a line forms at the theater. Being first. My dad got us one of the last spots at this lookout. Most others had the same plan we did. Well it seemed that way, getting in for this view as another family left, then suddenly, more people showed up. Followed by a mini RV.





There was information on what these formations were called, but I wasn't reading anything.





This might be the obstructed view of Yosemite Falls (pronounced "Yos Mite") This is in the corner of the top picture. Yeah, I got two perspectives. Very brisk morning out that day; maybe 72. What was it back home, 90 something... ;)






Ooo, a tunnell!! I wonder what that's gonna be like.....






Oh.

If we would have had more than a week and a day, or two weeks as I summed up in the last post, we might have ventured up to the Redwood Forest. Why am I telling you this now? That tunnel picture up above my comment...imagine that a tree. You drive through trees in the Redwood Forest. Man, oh man!










I believe this is Bridal's Veil Falls. Many people were around me when I took this picture. You take an extremely easy hike up to these falls, and there's a pool of water for the kids to splash in and soak their clothes, young girls are basking on rocks sprayed down with waterfall mist; there was an enormous influx of Chinese and Japanese folks scattered among the crowd. It was amazing that I even got this shot without a head or two sticking out at the bottom edge of the picture. I'm also surprised this picture came out so clear. The mist coming off the rocks the water is cascading on is plentiful, and I should have had little droplets of water on my lens. The body of my camera did.




We were walking back from Bridal's Veil, and this was lying by the side of the trail. The rangers must of sawed through it after it blocked the walking trail due to its fall. I thought it looked cool through the viewfinder.











The best National Park I've been to would have to be Zion National Park in Utah, mainly due to how organized everything is. You park a ways out from the main lodge of the park, and they swing by and pick you up on a trolly. The trolly ride is maybe 5 minutes, and along the way to the lodge you see a nice view of Angel's Landing, which is one of the best attractions there. A trail follows a steep, narrow ridge with chains added to provide handholds to this one spire; on both sides of you would see quite a drop. You see this landform from a few miles out. You also pass right by the Watchman, a beautiful red rock mountain. Once at the lodge, you sort of pick-and-choose where you want to go. I'd say there are probably about 8-10 hiking trails you can take, depending on how strenuous they are. At Yosemite, you could walk the park if you've got free time. It would take you awhile, I'm not gonna lie. That one might be a good 20 mile or so. It's stupid to wanna walk the whole Yosemite site.

The majority of my pictures are from the backseat of a moving vehicle. I also didn't realize Yosemite loops around, so when this next picture came in to view, it stunned me.





El Capitan. Actually, I don't know if this is El Capitan or not. It looks like him.




Driving out of the park, we got caught in a traffic jam, due to some road work. So we pulled to the side of the road, and soon afterwards, we noticed several people gawking at something in the meadow. Down the road a ways from the picture above was a clearing with grass as green as pictured. Here's the little guy who was drawing all the attention.








It's most likely a female.





Me and my brother fought for pictures. While I snapped these, an Aussie came up to our car and replied, "Ah, I saw you had your cam'ra owt. May I inquire what you see out in that feeld!?" I told him there was a bear out there. "A baar! Where d'ya see a baar!?" I told him to look between the two trees, and that brown spot with ears was the bear. "I steel don't see it, mate..." I told him my finger that was extended was pointing right at her. "Look at the tree to the left of my finger," I told him, "Then look right of that by 5 degrees." Sure enough, she came within his sight. "Oh yeah! Hey kids," and his troop of girls around the same age came up to him with their mother, and watched the "baar" graze.

Here's Owen. Nothing like taking a picture of him taking a picture of the Yosemite park entrance sign.



The next day would find us wasting an afternoon at Big Trees State Forest, me being upstaged by a modern hippie and his camera phone, me eating handful after handful of Triscuits and opening my beer on forest-life, and finally, a day in San Francisco. But let's wait to discuss that later.