Sunday, March 22, 2009

Night Vision Goggles

You know you're a geek when someone catches you browsing night vision goggles on the internet, and you're actually serious about buying them. I fuckin' hate stubbing my toe late at night because I had to walk from the kitchen to my room in pitch black darkness, trying desperately to avoid obstacles and failing; I don't want to wake anyone up from their precious sleep by turning on lights. I do, however, end up waking everyone up when I stub my toe on the dishwasher, and exclaim, "FUCK" in the middle of the night.

These are called the NIGHT OWL

TACTICAL GOGGLES NOTG2

"The shit, in night vision-technology." - Stephen Hawking

The NOTG2 is one of the most advanced commercial night vision units around...and blah blah blah - what bothers me is the price of these goggles: 2,000 to 3,000 dollars!

Well, I guess I can't be too surprised. These look like what are issued to Splinter Cells.

And then there's these. Jesus - you'd look like the fuckin' Borg from Star Trek: TNG wearing these fuckin' things! I realize these are the kiddie-type night vision goggles, but Christ, I don't think I've ever laid eyes on something I could break easier; one misstep and oops, butterfingers, I've broken this headgear. I'd hold a contest where we'd see how long, or how short of time it takes to destroy these goggles. I reckon 10 seconds for me, in a room with a hardwood floor. $70 for goggles that take like 6-7 D-Cell batteries. Oh, sorry, 5 AA batteries, so these things can power up and be useful for an hour and a half. What a fantastic value!

No, I'm not going to buy Night Vision goggles. For one thing, I'd look like Buffalo Bill stalking Clarice Starling in Night Vision goggles. I'll save my $3,000 and try and lease a car! Show me a pair of night vision goggles that doubles-up as a vehicle I could drive to work in, for $3,000, and maybe we'd have a deal. I'll more or less rip off my pinkie-toe by stubbing it so many times than lay down that kind of money for something I'd maybe use for 5-10 minutes a night. And even then, I'd probably be stupid enough to flip on the kitchen or bathroom light wearing these fuckers and half-blind myself. I wonder if there is a way to make night vision contact lens???