I am inside my head throughout a lot of shit. As I'm nearing a theater to go to a matinee with a friend, to waiting in line with a steamy plate in hand at a buffet, some times at the pump at a gas station...questions are firing off. Just a random assortment of questions. Was iced tea supposed to be an inside joke for us Yanks back in the states when we saw Brits inhaling that shit as a hot beverage? How did British people feel traveling the U.S. for the first time, and catching some guy out on his porch, putting cubes of ice in his tea instead of sugar and cream? Did they just laugh at us; were they appalled!? I don't really care to know the answer, but the question is still in my mind.
Does the Hockey profession have the best dental plan? Why don't smoke-shops sell designer smoking jackets or knock-offs - there's people out there that don't care whether they have a knock-off smoking jacket! You don't see a lot of weather-based films; I could maybe name off two right off the top of my head: Twister and Tornado. Wasn't there a Bruce Campbell film called Night of the Tornadoes??? There, that's possibly three off the top of my head. I'd like to make a hurricane movie, and I'd definitely watch a hurricane movie if it followed up the last of the Living Dead series by George A. Romero. Call it Hurricane of the Dead, or some shit. That's not a bad idea, folks.
I wanna know why it's considered a courtesy to call and remind a person about an event or an appointment the person had signed up for or got arranged for them. An implied incompetency is what I detect from that exchange, unless the person is elderly, or older than 35. I've had to make calls like that, reminding the person that they had signed up for a computer class, and reminding them what time and date that was. If you can't mark down on a calender when you are supposed to be somewhere at a certain time, or neglect to write it down or make a reminder for yourself of the event than obviously you didn't want to attend or arrive at your destination at that scheduled time. I would rather have a real person call you, if they insisted on calling you, instead of the automated courtesy-call because usually, if you ignore an automated courtesy-call, they have the courtesy to call you back...three minutes later, and so on, until you answer...
I received one of these automated courtesy calls as I was sitting down to dinner, did not answer it because I did not recognize the number - I do that frequently - and as I sat down at the table, and was cutting up a pork chop or stuffing a chunk of buttery, sour-creamy baked potato in to my mouth, the fucking phone rang once more. I answered, and the principal or superintendent for USD 308 gave me a lovely, recorded message about early education enrollment and pre-enrollment for grades 6 through 12. I...didn't fucking go to a USD 308 school in my past, nor did I have siblings younger than me. I don't have children of my own, so there is no possibility that they were trying to sway me in to transferring my kids from another district to there's; in fact, the only reason I can think of for why I'd receive a call like that is because my dad is a carpenter for 308 and his name is on a list. Grr, it's fucking hideous! If someone in the house has a doctor's appointment, it's like, "Let's call them and remind them of their appointment at...8 A.M.! They should be up, right!?" If I don't have to be up that early, I'm not, and to be woken up by the phone...you fucking cock suckers! I'd like to know their schedule, and personally call them at home to remind them when they have to be at work.
"This is a message from," the robot-voice changes to a recording of me saying, "an annoyed observer" back to the machine, "by our records, we've noticed that you have to be at work at 9 A.M. You have 4 hours and 37 minutes until your shift starts at 9 A.M. This is an automated recording, reminding you that your shift at your," and the electronic voice let's me interrupt by saying, "PRECIOUS," then immediately back to the automated voice, "job begins at 9 A.M. Thank you, and God bless Jesus." Then, an hour later, same call, same message, only, at the end of this message, we have an automated commercial for Hooters, that is overpoweringly loud for the other person's receiver, and causes them to pull the phone away from their ear. And if they opted out of answering the phone, it would give them 30 seconds to get back in their bed, and then call again. Makes my heart burst with joy!
