My sciatica is kicking my ass again this year. The sciatic nerve being that pesky string like that of a yo-yo string that keeps my sitting position in check. Seriously, you move a leg wrong when it's acting up, and you get a sharp pain like the buzzing on the game-board for Operation! Fuck, didn't know I couldn't stretch my legs out anymore on the couch, or cross them for that matter while sitting upright. Ever get stuck hunched over drying your legs after taking a bath -- lower back, you'd much prefer to stay in this uncomfortable position than to let me straighten; I would think this would be worse (FOLD YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE) I'll just go to work like this, bare ass naked and still partially wet.
This affliction is one I've weathered ever since I was too young to be incapacitated with a back-injury such as this; it comes and goes, either resulting in me finally biting the bullet and going to my fattist chiropractor for a treatment, or myself remaining so fucked and miserable. It occurred to me that being down in the back as I am is not necessarily the shittiest injury that pesters oneself, in fact, more than anything else in the world, this includes myself being tied and thrown over the Royal Gorge bridge, I would hate to be a basketball star whose excuse for not playing is a lousy finger, or a pitcher, let's call him Jorge De La Rosa, and let's say he plays for the Colorado Rockies, whose nagging pursuer, and rationalization for his lousy pitching that's not blamed on being left handed (Round up all these lefties and take them to concentration camps) is a blister that's bugged him. A blister.
So it's on his pitching hand, so what if it's even located on the joint of his middle finger, maybe even the tip, and arguably on the most important finger used in throwing a baseball, you remain partially on the DL because of a blister. Sorry I couldn't make it to jury duty yesterday, my earlobe was red. I had an ingrown hair on the inside of my ear.
What if Mike Tyson would've told Frank Bruno -- no question regarding Bruno as the best British fighter EVER -- but Mike had to cancel the fight at the last moment saying; "Ss'ary B'uno, but whilst I's workout 's'morning, I got'a ssscratch on my b'ssscep, and it bled for like three minutesss. I gotta bow out'f the fight." 1989 Mike Tyson in the clear peak of his game and he quits the match to Bruno giving up his Heavyweight title, and one of the best surges-to-a-knockout against a legend we'll probably ever witness all because of a fucking scratch; please! That's like finding out all along that Superman was wearing a silk teddy under his uniform.
And poor Kobe...honestly, you're a cheat if you have to wear a brace on your finger every game in order to straighten your shot -- oh, but it's a petulant finger sprain. Now I hear he's playing in game 5 after the foot injury he suffered last Sunday -- to what, make up for being a wuss, no clearly the man was faking. Jesus...
I end this quell of sports posts, two, by relating some stupidity. You can't say NO THANK YOU at the drive-thru. You can blatantly and bluntly say, "NO!" A 'no' which resides within it, "what are you, fuckin' stupid!?" Not even if you space the two phrases a great distance away from each other as in, "No... (three seconds) ...thank you." Whatever you have just declined you will get. I made the mistake of say, "No, I don't believe I will," when asked if I wanted sauce at a Taco Bueno. I should have known by a lengthy pause and the muttering of, "O-kay," from the drive-thru attendant that there was a miscommunication. I get my order, with a cup of brown sauce I've never seen or tasted in my life from a fast food chain. It was spicy and it had meat in it. They had given me a cup of grease. It was literally run-off from the pan, skillet, contraption they cooked the beef in. And I ate it.
I begin this curious story like I do all my regular posts. Just a moment ago, I received a call of inquisitiveness by a woman already enrolled in one of our computer workshops the library offers each month. She wanted to know the time, and whether the date on her calender was correct in regards to the class. The date I gave her, this Thursday, corresponded to the one circled or notated on her calender. Then she asked if the class were held still upstairs in the computer lab, or, "where exactly are we to go for this class," in which I told her the basement where we have a separate training-lab, that's the name of it, The Training Lab. She further reiterate whether it was the basement, and oh, how she had never been in the basement. It's a sub-level, not Disney World; not EPCOT. There's no free sub and soft drink with the purchase of a greater or equal sub involved here! I said yes, the basement.
"Well then, how do I get downstairs?"
"The elevator between adult fiction and the children's department, on the south wall will allow you access to the basement, and the training lab is maybe three feet and to your left, in front of you out of the elevator."
"Oh, so out a-ways from the bathrooms, and to my left; alright, well I'm glad I called and asked that."
Wait, how do you know the bathrooms are to the left from the elevator in the basement, didn't you just say you've never been in the basement?
So then I wondered, maybe she meant from her left in the elevator on the first floor, there's bathrooms located a little ways from the ones in the basement, on top of each other, but perhaps more askew. But then why out from the bathrooms and to the left, why not down away from the bathrooms, or perpendicular to the elevator. The way she said how it was from the bathrooms, the emphasis being "out", or "down" "away" from the bathrooms. There's something there. Why would she lie about being in our basement before?
Does it appear that restricted? I guess the employees do look a bit stealthy, conspicuous like spies when we flash our identity badges over the scanner-lock on the door, and slink down the steps to the break room located in the basement once cleared and given access. I'd feel uncomfortable pressing the letter B button in the elevator for basement, or at least a bit uneasy...no I wouldn't. Your just riding the elevator to the sub-level of the library for a free computer class.
