I have been complaining a lot about the media, and how they handle newsworthiness. Newsworthiness - an actual term used to describe what is news. I guess if the media didn't report what they do air, you might see what viewers got a chance to see on CNN a few days ago. The big craze that week: the syndicated television show, "The Facts of Life" was finally coming out on DVD. Tootie, Blair, Natalie, and Mrs. Garrett could now be viewed in high definition on this collection of the first and second seasons of the show. For a five to ten minute segment, CNN brought together three of the cast members to interview them about the show, and what their feelings were while making it, and also being apart for so long. It was a sluggish time for news.
But CNN was not the only network with a news show to have a special. In fact, that very morning, Good Morning, America did the exact same thing. Bryant Gumble, I believe, was asking the same questions as CNN did, making it fully aware that CNN stole the segment. I could see why someone would want to nab a story like, "Miners Trapped in Virginia" or "Two Teens Found Guilty of Bomb and Shooting Attempt," but why "Facts of Life: Reunion?"
Sure, we all need to know about hair changes, and weight changes in the cast, deaths above all things. Wait, no we don't! More wasted time. Tony Snow could've came over to the news team, and played with his asshole, Paula Zahn and Heidi Collins could engage in some lesbian action, while Fredericka Whitfield, Soledad O'Brien, and Sanjay Gupta try and say every word in the English dictionary without expressing any verbal ethnicity in the pronunciation of their syllables. Hell, sock puppets would have been better. If you have to fill airtime, do it with illustrations or presentations. Advertising would do a hell of a job, too. Don't try and liven your news with information on a DVD release. I realize you are a news station, but how important are "The Facts of Life?" You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have...There's a time you gotta go and show you're growin' now, you know...When the world never seems to be living up to your dreams. And suddenly you're finding out...It takes a lot to get em right, but you're learnin'...so I guess not every news story is a homerun, sometimes you have the good and bad, and you've got to learn from your mistakes. Wow, so I guess the facts of life are important to cover in the news room. Gee, thanks Facts of Life;)
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
R.I.P.
I just heard some horrifying news! The Hummer H1 is extinct. When the Model T was put to death 1928, it was like sinking the Titanic again, only the Titanic was the size of New York City, and it was full of baby animals. When Chevy said, "No more Bel-Aires," the streets ran red with the blood of protests, and the widows cried for 40 days and nights. Now, the Hummer H1, and there are already reports of mass slaughter and bombings.
No, I'm kidding. Nobody cares when a car dies because it's a machine...and machines break apart or die on a daily basis. Thanks CNN for wasting bandwidth and reporting on your website that the Hummer H1 will be discontinued before summer 2006.
No, I'm kidding. Nobody cares when a car dies because it's a machine...and machines break apart or die on a daily basis. Thanks CNN for wasting bandwidth and reporting on your website that the Hummer H1 will be discontinued before summer 2006.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
College Shmollege
Many students struggle to "cut it" and "make the grade" attending college. Let us dwell deeper into my personal life, shall we? I am sort of in a pickle. I kinda said fuck off to the major I had, and got the information on how to switch out to something different; something I had no idea might be. So I went all depressed-like and hated everything, until I thought I found the right replacement major, but then decided, "What's the point of school?" and kind of went deeper into depression, then fought to not get smothered last minute-like. I have a good feeling things turned out tragic. In the light of my situation, I decided to look up the failure rate in achieving a degree in college and what I found was astounding.
"...54 percent of students entering four-year colleges in 1997 had a degree six years later..." - a MSNBC report "U.S. college drop-out rate sparks concern" states.
That's more than half the people enrolling in college achieve their goal. Let's do the American thing and figure out who to point the finger at. Why not the colleges themselves?
I went to the ACT website and found the results of a recent survey, recent being a little under 2 years ago. ACT survey officials say, "...at more than 1,000 two- and four-year colleges and universities...an alarming number of schools have no specific plan or goals in place to improve student retention and degree completion." Why is that? Don't they want students to complete their degrees?
Of course they do, but if you're in college and you're not responsible for that kind of material by then, should you really be in college?
There is the shell-shock factor of it all - shell-shock a term coined during and most notably after wartime when a soldier is overwhelmed with the tribulations of war. Same thing is suggested to happen to a good number of students in college. This might explain why a lot of students fail out of college.
You have to go into college with the right intentions. Don't expect to party and booze it up your whole first and second semester, and still pass all your classes. If you can succeed in doing that, you must be a true genius. You have to work at succeeding in college. But don't over stress.
"College is something you complete. Life is something you experience - So don't worry about your grades, the results, success. Don't focus on the finish line, or how you're doing compared to everyone else - or why you've had a rash for over 20 years now - Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may."
- Jon Stewart; "The Daily Show"
Failing all your classes isn't ever good, don't get me wrong, but, realize why you are in college, and make sure you want be there, before you put forth the money. Van Wilder might have been a cool movie, but don't follow by example on that one...
"...54 percent of students entering four-year colleges in 1997 had a degree six years later..." - a MSNBC report "U.S. college drop-out rate sparks concern" states.
That's more than half the people enrolling in college achieve their goal. Let's do the American thing and figure out who to point the finger at. Why not the colleges themselves?
I went to the ACT website and found the results of a recent survey, recent being a little under 2 years ago. ACT survey officials say, "...at more than 1,000 two- and four-year colleges and universities...an alarming number of schools have no specific plan or goals in place to improve student retention and degree completion." Why is that? Don't they want students to complete their degrees?
Of course they do, but if you're in college and you're not responsible for that kind of material by then, should you really be in college?
There is the shell-shock factor of it all - shell-shock a term coined during and most notably after wartime when a soldier is overwhelmed with the tribulations of war. Same thing is suggested to happen to a good number of students in college. This might explain why a lot of students fail out of college.
You have to go into college with the right intentions. Don't expect to party and booze it up your whole first and second semester, and still pass all your classes. If you can succeed in doing that, you must be a true genius. You have to work at succeeding in college. But don't over stress.
"College is something you complete. Life is something you experience - So don't worry about your grades, the results, success. Don't focus on the finish line, or how you're doing compared to everyone else - or why you've had a rash for over 20 years now - Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may."
- Jon Stewart; "The Daily Show"
Failing all your classes isn't ever good, don't get me wrong, but, realize why you are in college, and make sure you want be there, before you put forth the money. Van Wilder might have been a cool movie, but don't follow by example on that one...
Monday, May 08, 2006
Mad-chic Magic
Well, David Blaine is at it again. He's on his way to completing his next death defying stunt of being underwater, wearing a diving helmet that allows two-way communication, for a week! Wait! That's not death defying...that is like saying, "Here, this shit is dangerous! Go digging in the ground, find an earthworm, and eat it! You won't live through that one!"
David Blaine has what? Balanced on a 22-inch circular platform atop a 100-foot pole for 35 hours; got buried alive in a see-through coffin for a week; survived inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours; fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over a river. That last one is pretty haggard. Can anyone really survive for 40 days without food or water...oh, right...someone DID! Answer is Jesus, right? Jesus did that!
Looking around on various fancy/pantsy science and anatomy websites, I found that the answer to how long a human being could go without food is a very hard question to get answered. First, you must look at the muscle and fat mass of the subject. David Blaine looks like a skinny, toothpick, heroine junky, but I could only speculate that if that guy wanted to wolf down a pizza or two, he'd find room. As for muscle, if that little bitch were ever in a knife fight, that bitch is gettin' shanked like a mutha! What the body can resort to doing in desperate times (starvation) is it starts to consume fat storage. Once those carbs are burned, the body turns to muscle for substance. Delicious protein! When muscle is gone, you're shit out of luck because not only can you not eat anymore due to weakness and the resistance from your tummy, but now you can't move. Then, the body turns to your vital organs for support, and shuts down whatever you don't need. That's into your last few days, possibly around day 50-60. Relatively, you have about a month with no food.
Water was a simple answer. 3-5 days. So how'd David Blaine do it? Was he even deprived of water? QUOTES!!!
"(He was given) much bedding, a sports bag, a photo of his departed mother and a diary and pencil were...loaded aboard. Compared to his other feats this seemed to be not very challenging - even Blaine appeared bored and disinterested."
When asked why 44, he said because his birthday was 4/4 (April 4th) and beyond days 45-50, you go blind. Right, Mr. Blaine...the real truth is, David Blaine wanted to one-up on Jesus. He was quoted to have said, "Savior my ass," while loading his magic sports bag with water, Hostess snack cakes, and beef jerky. (That's called sarcasm dipshits!)
Something about that damn bag doesn't add up. Let's look at more magic he did. The buried alive segment. Here's more quotage, this time from http://www.magicdirectory.com/blaine/buriedalive.shtml, the same site I got the other quote from. Here, it shows a day by day directory of what happened. Day 3 was astonishing.
"Day 3
Regis came down to view David in the casket. He offered him a hotdog and told him to come out of there. He made David laugh talking through a microphone telling him how crazy he looks.
David was under a blanket at some of the moments he was in there..."
You know you are receiving lots of attention you never got in high school when a senile old man starts throwing hot dogs at you...wait! That was Regis! What's up with this blanket shit? Are you cold? Catching a bit of a cold, so you need to be wrapped up in a blanket, huh? LIAR! That blanket was lined with food! NEXT!
The infamous block of ice trick. Funny...have you ever seen pictures for this? The guy's whole upper body is unseen, but you can see his legs. Oh, and he has a little peep hole for people to see him. Again, a communication head set, to tell him when people aren't around so he can eat and drink! You're still freezing your ass off, but so is all of Siberia. Magic: no. Houdini, you are not Mr. Blaine. You have to start wondering what David Blaine was like in high school. Probably the nerdy kid with his dungeon master's guide, his cape and top hat, quoting David Copperfield, wearing eyeliner and questioning his sexuality. Those were the days David Blaine went by Artimus Wolfcaster, the dark elf of Schneebof.
David Blaine has what? Balanced on a 22-inch circular platform atop a 100-foot pole for 35 hours; got buried alive in a see-through coffin for a week; survived inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours; fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over a river. That last one is pretty haggard. Can anyone really survive for 40 days without food or water...oh, right...someone DID! Answer is Jesus, right? Jesus did that!
Looking around on various fancy/pantsy science and anatomy websites, I found that the answer to how long a human being could go without food is a very hard question to get answered. First, you must look at the muscle and fat mass of the subject. David Blaine looks like a skinny, toothpick, heroine junky, but I could only speculate that if that guy wanted to wolf down a pizza or two, he'd find room. As for muscle, if that little bitch were ever in a knife fight, that bitch is gettin' shanked like a mutha! What the body can resort to doing in desperate times (starvation) is it starts to consume fat storage. Once those carbs are burned, the body turns to muscle for substance. Delicious protein! When muscle is gone, you're shit out of luck because not only can you not eat anymore due to weakness and the resistance from your tummy, but now you can't move. Then, the body turns to your vital organs for support, and shuts down whatever you don't need. That's into your last few days, possibly around day 50-60. Relatively, you have about a month with no food.
Water was a simple answer. 3-5 days. So how'd David Blaine do it? Was he even deprived of water? QUOTES!!!
"(He was given) much bedding, a sports bag, a photo of his departed mother and a diary and pencil were...loaded aboard. Compared to his other feats this seemed to be not very challenging - even Blaine appeared bored and disinterested."
When asked why 44, he said because his birthday was 4/4 (April 4th) and beyond days 45-50, you go blind. Right, Mr. Blaine...the real truth is, David Blaine wanted to one-up on Jesus. He was quoted to have said, "Savior my ass," while loading his magic sports bag with water, Hostess snack cakes, and beef jerky. (That's called sarcasm dipshits!)
Something about that damn bag doesn't add up. Let's look at more magic he did. The buried alive segment. Here's more quotage, this time from http://www.magicdirectory.com/blaine/buriedalive.shtml, the same site I got the other quote from. Here, it shows a day by day directory of what happened. Day 3 was astonishing.
"Day 3
Regis came down to view David in the casket. He offered him a hotdog and told him to come out of there. He made David laugh talking through a microphone telling him how crazy he looks.
David was under a blanket at some of the moments he was in there..."
You know you are receiving lots of attention you never got in high school when a senile old man starts throwing hot dogs at you...wait! That was Regis! What's up with this blanket shit? Are you cold? Catching a bit of a cold, so you need to be wrapped up in a blanket, huh? LIAR! That blanket was lined with food! NEXT!
The infamous block of ice trick. Funny...have you ever seen pictures for this? The guy's whole upper body is unseen, but you can see his legs. Oh, and he has a little peep hole for people to see him. Again, a communication head set, to tell him when people aren't around so he can eat and drink! You're still freezing your ass off, but so is all of Siberia. Magic: no. Houdini, you are not Mr. Blaine. You have to start wondering what David Blaine was like in high school. Probably the nerdy kid with his dungeon master's guide, his cape and top hat, quoting David Copperfield, wearing eyeliner and questioning his sexuality. Those were the days David Blaine went by Artimus Wolfcaster, the dark elf of Schneebof.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Shower thoughts- when you have a stroke of genius while showering or bathing. Those moments really are frustrating. You could be sitting on the couch or any other dry spot, thinking clearly of random topics, and either the stupidest, most repulsive things slip into your head or you try so hard, nothing comes of it. But doesn't it seem like every time you're scrubbing down, you start thinking your best stuff? Of course pencil/pen and paper is useless in water, so you have no place to write this junk down, until you get out of the shower/bath, but most times, it's too late- you've forgotten the thought. I sometimes wish I had a personal scribe; someone to stand at the ready, to sought down a note or two. For instance, I was thinking something about Rush Limbaugh and how he's not a credible journalist or author; that most of the shit spewed from his mouth is worthless and incoherent smut nobody cares to hear in the first place, and if you ever watch him talk, you might notice left over Oxycodone flying from his lips like the acidic spittle and gibberish-jammer he emits. I was thinking this while walking to my car, yet, when I got home, after driving for 15 minutes, I couldn't remember much of anything because my mind was numb from thinking about this:
Limbaugh claims that volcanoes do more harm to the ozone layer than human-produced chemicals. He stated in his best-selling book, The Way Things Ought to Be : "Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines spewed forth more than a thousand times the amount of ozone-depleting chemicals in one eruption than all the fluorocarbons manufactured by wicked, diabolical and insensitive corporations in history.... Mankind can't possibly equal the output of even one eruption from Pinatubo, much less 4 billion years' worth of them, so how can we destroy ozone?"
He called concern about the ozone layer and other evironmental issues: "Balderdash. Poppycock." "The only people who worry about it are 'environmental wackos'," "dunderheaded alarmists and prophets of doom."
Dunderheaded? Who actually uses that word? I'll tell you who: rapists of intelligence, plundering, pill-popping, loose-jawed 'Punch'-puppets turned editorializers who evangelize their opinions like a devout Catholic would the Passion. Limbaughs of the world, that's who.
What happens after a volcano erupts? After the emission of ash and mountain debris? It rains. The air is polluted with the ash, creating a layer that blocks out the sun. It rains; it's not good rain- the rain is a variety of chemicals, from volcanic gases, made of steam mixed with carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide, hydrogen sulfide, hydrogen, and/or fluorine, filter into the atmosphere, contaminating the air and groundwater, poisoning animals, killing plants, and causing breathing problems, but that's why you evacuate first. Why would you stay to breathe all that shit in, or be drowsed in that kind of rain? Only an idiot would stand with his or her mouth open, catching that rain in their gullet.
I think of a volcano as Mother-Earth's menstruation. No person wants to stare at a vagina as it leaks blood, so why stand in the middle of the disaster and get drenched in lava? You stand back from the devastation, knowing full well that if you get closer and closer to it, you are in more danger. Just like you stay a little bit of a distance away from a chick on her period. You never know when you might spring the trap and be murdered; you keep your fucking distance. As for saying volcanoes cause global warming, yeah, it's possible, but if mankind were to not release poison into the atmosphere, it would be a rare, friendly global warming, not the one thing that could tip the scales off balance. The rain and natural disasters after a volcano are what help cleanse the earth. Ash and water, I would think, would be a decent fertilizer.
Limbaugh claims that volcanoes do more harm to the ozone layer than human-produced chemicals. He stated in his best-selling book, The Way Things Ought to Be : "Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines spewed forth more than a thousand times the amount of ozone-depleting chemicals in one eruption than all the fluorocarbons manufactured by wicked, diabolical and insensitive corporations in history.... Mankind can't possibly equal the output of even one eruption from Pinatubo, much less 4 billion years' worth of them, so how can we destroy ozone?"
He called concern about the ozone layer and other evironmental issues: "Balderdash. Poppycock." "The only people who worry about it are 'environmental wackos'," "dunderheaded alarmists and prophets of doom."
Dunderheaded? Who actually uses that word? I'll tell you who: rapists of intelligence, plundering, pill-popping, loose-jawed 'Punch'-puppets turned editorializers who evangelize their opinions like a devout Catholic would the Passion. Limbaughs of the world, that's who.
What happens after a volcano erupts? After the emission of ash and mountain debris? It rains. The air is polluted with the ash, creating a layer that blocks out the sun. It rains; it's not good rain- the rain is a variety of chemicals, from volcanic gases, made of steam mixed with carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide, hydrogen sulfide, hydrogen, and/or fluorine, filter into the atmosphere, contaminating the air and groundwater, poisoning animals, killing plants, and causing breathing problems, but that's why you evacuate first. Why would you stay to breathe all that shit in, or be drowsed in that kind of rain? Only an idiot would stand with his or her mouth open, catching that rain in their gullet.
I think of a volcano as Mother-Earth's menstruation. No person wants to stare at a vagina as it leaks blood, so why stand in the middle of the disaster and get drenched in lava? You stand back from the devastation, knowing full well that if you get closer and closer to it, you are in more danger. Just like you stay a little bit of a distance away from a chick on her period. You never know when you might spring the trap and be murdered; you keep your fucking distance. As for saying volcanoes cause global warming, yeah, it's possible, but if mankind were to not release poison into the atmosphere, it would be a rare, friendly global warming, not the one thing that could tip the scales off balance. The rain and natural disasters after a volcano are what help cleanse the earth. Ash and water, I would think, would be a decent fertilizer.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
On CNN today, I heard Rep. Patrick Kennedy, son of Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy, crashed his car into a barricade on Capitol Hill last Thursday. He wasn't drinking or anything, he just out of the blue, smashed into a barricade. Ted Kennedy got in a wreck once himself. Chappaquiddick, Massachusetts...some backwoodsy pond he just had to drive his car into. The Kennedy's love water! Mary Jo Kopechne insisted Ted not go driving into ponds, but how could boozed up Teddy resist. Then, Teddy said Kopechne passed out or was dead after the wreck, when a certain Police diver John Farrar had this to report:
'It was not the position assumed by a person knocked unconscious by the impact of a crash (Mary's position in the car as she struggled for air in passenger's seat of the car...under water), Farrar said. "If she had been dead or unconscious, she would have been prone, sinking to the bottom or floating on top. She definitely was holding herself in a position to avail herself of the last remaining air that had to be trapped in the car."'
Those Kennedy's sure like wrecks! Teddy, John Jr., and now Pat. They also have a knack of getting involved with shootings...
'It was not the position assumed by a person knocked unconscious by the impact of a crash (Mary's position in the car as she struggled for air in passenger's seat of the car...under water), Farrar said. "If she had been dead or unconscious, she would have been prone, sinking to the bottom or floating on top. She definitely was holding herself in a position to avail herself of the last remaining air that had to be trapped in the car."'
Those Kennedy's sure like wrecks! Teddy, John Jr., and now Pat. They also have a knack of getting involved with shootings...
Monday, May 01, 2006
Start the morning off...
Breakfast, the most important meal of the day. For average folks, it's the most notably skipped meal of the day. Eating in the morning? "But I've got papers to finish that I didn't want to do last night", "I've got to find time for a shower", "scavenging for clean clothes takes an hour as it is", "coffee....coffee.....coffee..." Breakfast has lost its importance. When I do get around to eating breakfast, it's a celebration! I seriously make having breakfast like the Macy's Day Parade. There is a fucking band marching in front of my car on the way to ordering a number 8 (that's the breakfast burrito combo meal) at McDonald's. Today, I skipped class to go to breakfast. My choice for the provider for the breakfast: Spangles. I wanted to try the breakfast burger; I had heard some place on the radio or the television about a slab of beef with a mixture of egg and tator tots poured over the top, two buns, and cheese because I know when I want a hamburger, I'm thinking, "I'd like tator tots and eggs on top of that instead of the usual veg. of lettuce, pickle, and tomato."
I reach for my wallet, and check on my cash situation; I've got $5. I reach for the change scattered in my clutter-fest of a car; I've got an additional 75 cents. That breakfast burger cannot be more than that. Of course, Spangles does not supply any kind of sign that speaks of this so-called "breakfast burger," so I have no idea if I just imagined this new breakfast item out of a drunken fancy or if it's real. I order the breakfast burger; just with its standard combo, and a Sierra Mist. The total was $7.28, I clearly did not have the where-with-all to purchase such an unexpected, expensive breakfast. I pull the "asshole" move and drive off.
Next resort, McDonald's. 10:31, and I get to the drive-thru. Order my number 8, with a small orange juice, and get answered with a question, "Do you realize we are now serving lunch?" The supposed cut-off time for breakfast at McDonald's is 10:30...I presume...I have no idea if it has changed or not to 10 a.m. I am forced to drive off again because of a minute lapse in the cut-off time.
Now, I'm looking for the "prostitute" of breakfast-serving fast food venders. It's the last ditch effort. I know I want fucking breakfast and I want it now...if I wanted regular lunch fast food, I wouldn't have skipped class. So I go to Sonic, America's drive-thru.
I get the fast-talker order-taker. "May I take your order?" "Yeah, I want a breakfast burrito combo...(before I even finish)" "Tots with that?" "...ah....yes...." "What't'ya wanta drink?" "Sierra Mist" "Sprite fine?" Why wouldn't it be? It's the same fucking drink...the lime-flavored soft drink. 'FUCK SIERRA MIST! HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I WANT THAT SHIT IN MY STOMACH...JUST BUBBLING LIKE ACID, MAKING MY INSIDES A CAULDRON OF HELL!!!' "Y'total $3.20. Thanks."
I'm on the verge of complaining. I do not feel happy because I wanted to SonicSize that bitch, and this lady talked too fast and I didn't get my words in. I notice at this time the outside entrance to the restroom. I already have to use the restroom, but I'm not sure about this restroom. Sonic just made these restrooms available to the public like two years ago. Before doing so, Sonic never had a restroom. It didn't make sense for this chain of restaurants to have an outdoor picnic area for people who don't want to eat in their cars, and not have a public restroom, unless they decided they'd much rather fertilize their shrubbery with their customer's urine.
Out the door of the restroom, comes this employee of Sonic. He looks like he's made the restroom spotless, so customers would have a third option of where they'd like to eat- the floor of the outdoor restroom facility. I start thinking, "Wouldn't it be great, while conversing with this employee, if he would tell me that he was the head cook in the kitchen of the Sonic, and was doing this as a favor to the manager." A cook cleaning restrooms...
I don't know if anyone remembers this, but in Hutchinson, Kansas, and parts of Wichita, Kansas, Sonic had a huge ordeal where a bunch of customers complained of contracting hepatitis after eating at the restaurant chain. This would answer everything. Cooks, forced to handle fecal and other waste-matter while cleaning the restrooms, don't wash up afterwards, and spread hep. to their customers. It would be a huge scandal. In fact, the person complaining, might end up being awarded a huge sum of money and some major deals at the restaurant chain. I was getting pretty antsy at this moment, and ended up hearing the fast-talker order-taker lady screwing up the delivery of my meal with a vehicle two/three cars down. All I wanted was breakfast...I'd take any breakfast serving vender in town, just as long as I got eggs and sausage. A twenty minute ordeal spread out to the sum of an hour. How tragic...
I reach for my wallet, and check on my cash situation; I've got $5. I reach for the change scattered in my clutter-fest of a car; I've got an additional 75 cents. That breakfast burger cannot be more than that. Of course, Spangles does not supply any kind of sign that speaks of this so-called "breakfast burger," so I have no idea if I just imagined this new breakfast item out of a drunken fancy or if it's real. I order the breakfast burger; just with its standard combo, and a Sierra Mist. The total was $7.28, I clearly did not have the where-with-all to purchase such an unexpected, expensive breakfast. I pull the "asshole" move and drive off.
Next resort, McDonald's. 10:31, and I get to the drive-thru. Order my number 8, with a small orange juice, and get answered with a question, "Do you realize we are now serving lunch?" The supposed cut-off time for breakfast at McDonald's is 10:30...I presume...I have no idea if it has changed or not to 10 a.m. I am forced to drive off again because of a minute lapse in the cut-off time.
Now, I'm looking for the "prostitute" of breakfast-serving fast food venders. It's the last ditch effort. I know I want fucking breakfast and I want it now...if I wanted regular lunch fast food, I wouldn't have skipped class. So I go to Sonic, America's drive-thru.
I get the fast-talker order-taker. "May I take your order?" "Yeah, I want a breakfast burrito combo...(before I even finish)" "Tots with that?" "...ah....yes...." "What't'ya wanta drink?" "Sierra Mist" "Sprite fine?" Why wouldn't it be? It's the same fucking drink...the lime-flavored soft drink. 'FUCK SIERRA MIST! HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I WANT THAT SHIT IN MY STOMACH...JUST BUBBLING LIKE ACID, MAKING MY INSIDES A CAULDRON OF HELL!!!' "Y'total $3.20. Thanks."
I'm on the verge of complaining. I do not feel happy because I wanted to SonicSize that bitch, and this lady talked too fast and I didn't get my words in. I notice at this time the outside entrance to the restroom. I already have to use the restroom, but I'm not sure about this restroom. Sonic just made these restrooms available to the public like two years ago. Before doing so, Sonic never had a restroom. It didn't make sense for this chain of restaurants to have an outdoor picnic area for people who don't want to eat in their cars, and not have a public restroom, unless they decided they'd much rather fertilize their shrubbery with their customer's urine.
Out the door of the restroom, comes this employee of Sonic. He looks like he's made the restroom spotless, so customers would have a third option of where they'd like to eat- the floor of the outdoor restroom facility. I start thinking, "Wouldn't it be great, while conversing with this employee, if he would tell me that he was the head cook in the kitchen of the Sonic, and was doing this as a favor to the manager." A cook cleaning restrooms...
I don't know if anyone remembers this, but in Hutchinson, Kansas, and parts of Wichita, Kansas, Sonic had a huge ordeal where a bunch of customers complained of contracting hepatitis after eating at the restaurant chain. This would answer everything. Cooks, forced to handle fecal and other waste-matter while cleaning the restrooms, don't wash up afterwards, and spread hep. to their customers. It would be a huge scandal. In fact, the person complaining, might end up being awarded a huge sum of money and some major deals at the restaurant chain. I was getting pretty antsy at this moment, and ended up hearing the fast-talker order-taker lady screwing up the delivery of my meal with a vehicle two/three cars down. All I wanted was breakfast...I'd take any breakfast serving vender in town, just as long as I got eggs and sausage. A twenty minute ordeal spread out to the sum of an hour. How tragic...
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