Mr. President, I Think You're Doin' Just Fine!

President	Vacation Days	Favorite Destinations
Barack Obama	90 in first two years	Martha's Vineyard, Mass.; Kailua, Hawaii
George W. Bush	1,020 in eight years	Crawford, Texas; Camp David, Md.
Bill Clinton	152 in eight years	Martha's Vineyard; the Hamptons, N.Y.
George H.W. Bush	543 in four years	Camp David, Md.; Kennebunkport, Maine
Ronald Reagan	335 in eight years	Santa Barbara, Calif.
Jimmy Carter	79 in four years	Plains, Ga.

Source: NPR research by Barbie Keiser

The Equivalent of a Big Dump, Like Forcing a Midget Down a Toilet!

There's a new movie coming out called Real Steel -- basically think rock'em sock'em robots with Hugh Jackman. His character sort of reminds me of Lincoln Hawk, Sylvester Stallone's character in the 80's arm-wrestling movie Over the Top, which was a perfect name for that movie because it was over-the-top. Jackman plays a promoter with a prize-fighter mentality who thinks he's got a good thing with a discarded robot he hopes he can train as a fighter in a near-future where humans make these giant, behemoth robots, programming them to fight in the ring for them why they hang back in a simulator. A lot like two kids who have just dusted off their old rock'em sock'em robots (let's face it, these aren't kids, they're more like adults reliving some old times with this discarded toy) -- one person controls the red robot, the other the blue one. Of course, that's not all this movie brings to the table. Jackman's character discovers he's got an 11-year-old kid, who's role in the film is to find out who his father is. Over the Top had a kid in it, as well, Lincoln Hawk's son, who also was looking for affection from his father.

What else is coming out at the theaters in the next few months, as if I already didn't have a plan to segue off into another tangent, oh that's right, a movie based off the seafaring strategy game Battleship, where humans are yet again fighting against an alien threat. Look it up, it's-a comin' down the pike.

Here's an idea for a movie. Four mice of differing ethnic backgrounds are forced to build an all-powerful machine (Ooooo!) whose designer is the ruler of a twisting and turning labyrinth of a world where the mice first meet each other, and are on a journey to find the missing pieces in order to finish the construction of this grand, menacing machine, and none of the talking mice-men have a clue as to what the machine will accomplish, or why it's being built in the first place, until the final cogs are in order, and the machine is functioning properly. The ruler of this world is a sinister brute, a real shit; most likely a scraggly looking older mouse who everyone fears because he's so mean and conniving (Boo! Hiss!)

The movie ends with the four mice defeating the older mouse and establishing rule over the kingdom, but not before the machine is completed by the parts they found in the labyrinth. The machine actually turns out to be a world annihilator, created to destroy their world once it has been completed, and the four mice were sent out to find the missing pieces to it, which were scattered throughout their world in nondescript locations, thus the mice thinking they were on a quest for good actually were the resulting factor in their world being destroyed, a lot like mice seeking out cheese and getting caught in...wait for it...a mouse-trap. Yes, you see this movie is also based off of a childhood board game called... (I'm so giddy) ...MOUSE TRAP! It's so fucking pathetic, can't anyone come up an original fucking thought, we've gotta make movies based off of FUCKING board games! Are you kidding me!? I know you aren't really kidding me because I've seen the FUCKING TRAILERS TO THESE GOD DAMN MOVIES, AND I DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT!!!