Summer weather is hot, naturally so because our hemisphere of the world is directed right at the Sun; our axis tilted toward the sun, staring it down, gettin the ol' interrogation...
Jesus, personally to Jesus, it's fuckin' hot out there! Hot like Vietnam. In points of the heat and humidity, there's no air. A dead zone of heat -- the sweat making your clothes cling soaked to your skin. That's uncomfortable. It makes you question when you are among friends, am I sweaty down there? Do I have a huge sweat stain on my lower back, when really it feels like my shirt's wet. Drenched in sweat. My ass crack has to be wet. I've felt the sweat travel. A stream to a swamp.
Pools are a splendid way to beat the heat. I always imagine an extra dressed in an awkwardly rotund and cartoonish Sun costume, getting punched in the head by Thor's fist, get it, beat the heat? I have never imagined that whenever I say beat the heat. I'm kidding. Yes, every day should start out with a joke, like that video of the college elitist screaming, "Hey, don't taze me, bro! Don't taze me bro!" He was asking for it. That always leaves me in stitches. Or a joke about religion that makes you audibly express a AH HA! before clamming up and going about your day, maybe you're in striped pajamas with your zoo animals printed sheets, a joke is told to you, and you wake up right at its closure and express an AH HA! It's immediately time to brush teeth and no more mention of the joke. That's why I'm glad I'm not Asian.
The Japanese are starting to Americanize even though it's still awkward to see police with batons who know karate and can wield their weapon surround you blowing whistles and pointing in your direction if you cause a disturbance, like out of nowhere firing a gun in public, and by firing I mean unloading the clip. Afterwards, you surrender your weapon lying it on the concrete pavement, showing you surrender it with your hands in the air, and then walk away, hands sliding to your pockets, whistles getting blown. Have you really done anything wrong? Nobody's dead it just stirred people up. Ah, but you shot in the air and what goes up comes down. Try it sometime. You have every right to. Awkward Asians are those worried about losing face, so they get strict instead of their intended stoic outward appearance. Never smiling or laughing, and say you did tell him an inappropriate joke. He'd break your arm and your back! Don't worry about the Japanese flipping out on you like that since Shintoism is quickly being replaced by Judaism. AH HA!
