Terror Bird!

I was about to do an anti-America rant, but it got cheesy, and I've just decided that part of me is too politically influenced, mainly by the corrupt speech that exits the mouths of most if not every politician out lobbying today. Instead, I'll sum up lobbyists by saying they are nothing more than finches in a dying bush, senselessly chirping away.

This bridges over into the reason why I wish I had a hawk.

I want a big, mother fucking falcon perched upon my gloved hand, dressed in the falconer's hood or whatever that little mask is called that hawks and other gaming birds wear, so they don't get wise and fly off, resorting to their wildlife tendencies.

I hate pigeons - rats with wings. If I had a hawk or said falcon above, I would never have to worry about seeing a pigeon again in my life, unless it was a pigeon carcass. Now, I realize pigeons have diseases, and if my bird-fiend were to snack all day on pigeon entrails and nothing else, I probably wouldn't have a hawk for very long. I also hate finches, and other annoying, miniature, novelty birds, unless they are parakeets or cockatoos. So my hawk should have plenty to eat.

I've hated little birds ever since I was little, and here is why.

INFLUENZA, commonly known as the Flu, is a nasty little son of a bitch, who manages to get into your system, and reek all havoc, sometimes causing you to hallucinate uncontrollably, as well as uncontrollably vomit, poop, cough, ache, sneeze, blow your nose, etc. to all icky things. I happened to hallucinate for six hours straight once with Influenza. Part of that time, I thought a flock of finches and mini-birds were outside my window enduring malfeasance, bleak-cheep-chirping away at the expense of the misery I sustained, while I tried to block out their annoyance with the assistance of many layers of blankets and pillows wrapped around my head. But the noises never stopped. I seek revenge.

My solution: acquire a hawk, falcon, or any kind of hawk-like bird. If my hawk's diet results in being all pigeon and no finch, and my hawk dies of disease, it will be an answer to my explication of what to do with the hawk once it has no purpose because it seems too cruel to lock such majestic birds up in cages like they do in zoos, and I don't want to be responsible for causing a bird-plague among other hawks and birds of prey if I were to release suggested sick bird. I would also hate for other hawks, once encountering my pansied-beast of flight, to peck at, or destroy him/her simply because they are not wild anymore. A dead bird is better than a dead bird, which is better than dead birds, I always say. If that bitch is destined to die, let it be as tragic as to die at the hands of disease.