Peas

Some vegetables are better freshly frozen than canned, for instance, peas, carrots, and corn. Canned corn is disgusting; I don't care how many of you who share the sentiment, "they taste the same," peas, carrots, and corn are better frozen than canned. Peas-from-a-can taste like piss. When you open that can and pour out its contents, the canned peas are swimming in a mucky cesspool of swampy, syrupy-thick pea-water, like the peas were Asian stowaways on a cruise liner during the 1930's. An aroma of shame and undernourishment fill your nostrils. Your brain instantly thinks of the scene from "Schindler's List" when the orphan Jewish boy climbs into the toilet to hide from the Nazis, as if you indistinctly know if you were to not drain the pea can of its pond-scum bath water it has been wading in for a good decade or so, you would probably contract dysentery or some other form of pea-diseases (AIDs). Something is not right when you open the can of peas to find fifty or so of them mashed against the inside of the can. Maybe you should try buying baby-food instead - it's cheaper than a can of peas and it won't give you diarrhea. A can of peas should come with a Surgeon General's warning. Eating the aluminum can the peas come in is more healthy than eating the actual vegetable. If canned peas were a race Sally Struthers would be too ashamed to visit their country. A can of peas should be considered a national threat if it tried to board a plane. If a can of peas were transformed into a human by a wizard, Cano Peas could be Mexican, or a poor and homeless drunk with a vicious bladder and bowel problem...

And I'm done.

Frozen peas are not soggy, in fact, they are what fresh vegetables should taste like. And they come in a bag. Many good things come from bags - hardly do they ever come from a can. And within that pea-bag, there is no sight of mucky, green seamen left behind by erotic, sweaty, distrustful canned peas. If only you could create genocide against canned peas.